ORIGINAL DIARY NOTES MADE THIS DAY:

Late Night: Well here it is 11:20 at night. Thursday June 26 2008. This marks almost a full month since I've taken my program seriously and tonight I had the first "real" meal in 3 months. I had bread, desert and all. Went to red lobster and those salty fattening biscuits were so good, but so bad for me. Also had ice cream with apple pie for desert. I mean, talk about blowing it. But once again I reasoned "today will be the last good meal I have and tomorrow starts my program for real again". I'm a little sick to my stomach because if I go back and read the notes for this last month I think I will just see one empty promise to get back on track after another. Tomorrow I will commit to taking pictures. Tomorrow I will start making my shakes again. tomorrow I will resume to create the healing process I have documented to be a reality so far. I believe that tomorrow will also reveal what happens when I don't keep to the program. my stomach is starting to crawl, little flakes and red bumps starting to develop all over. especially where the psoriasis once was really really red back in April. My greatest fear as I've mentioned before is if the negative results of not sticking to my diet are going to reveal themselves no matter how good I stick to the program here on out. Keep telling myself. pictures tomorrow, enter my scores tomorrow, make my shakes tomorrow and get back on track tomorrow or I will look like I did in April. I need to have a talk with myself and say "Come on man! have some will power and beat this damn curse. Imagine how clear I would be if I would have kept up on the program like I did in April and may!" 

HIND-SIGHT COMMENTARY: